The Poetry (And It Is Bad)

All Works Are Untitled
And presented in no particular order or theme.
Oh, I can’t believe it’s happening
All my plans have been unwrapping
And there’s no use hiding feelings anymore.
There’s no need to be a coward
When your will’s been overpowered,
You burst right through my locked wrought iron door
All this trouble that I’ve been to,
And the trials we’ve both been through,
Have left their ugly scars on you and me.
I trusted you with my love,
And I thought that we’d rise above,
Because we both know how painful hiding out can be
Now at once it crashes on us,
All this weight we’ve built upon us,
These crude walls that we’d both built up so fast.
I’m so glad that I could know you,
I’m glad I got the chance to show you,
The way I felt, although it didn’t last.
Strange places, so far from my home;
new faces make me feel alone.
As I wander the earth,
as I travel the sands,
as I go overseas,
over oceans and lands
I wonder…
is this the way life should be?
Left behind the things that I love,
decided to fly when push came to shove.
I know that I’m here
when I ought to be there,
but resistance is futile -
you know they don’t care.
I wonder…
is this the way life should be?
When you leave what you miss
you miss it more;
what I cannot have now is
what I had before.
And you hope it will strengthen
but fear it will not,
when you hate distant voices but
they’re all that you’ve got.
You feel so replaceable, so easily tossed
and you fall to inferno like paradise lost,
then you wonder…
is this the way life should be?
You do without thinking
and follow directions,
you stare at your porn to
maintain your erection.
You dress all alike and
salute when you should.
Your opinions don’t matter,
to think does no good.
We’re the same, you and me,
I’m human too, can’t you see?
I just use what I’ve got
when you let yours rot
and that’s why I’m cut down by hubris.
Byronic or tragic?
I cannot quite tell,
either way it won’t matter,
like the weather in hell.
I’d rather cause my own demise
than survive because I followed;
I’d rather see ugliness with my own eyes
than some beautiful tale I just swallowed.
I’m not here,
I’ve been gone a while.
I left myself
so that I could smile.
I’m happy now,
I think I’m fine,
but if I return,
then I’ll lose my mind.
I’m not here,
I’ve been gone too long.
I left myself
because I wasn’t strong.
I’m okay,
I’ve seen the signs,
here real soon
I’m gonna lose my mind.
To be free
To be strong
To be me
Is to be gone.
I’m sitting on my porch sucking on a cheap cigar
I watch the people driving by, but not going far
I can’t help but thinking, “is this who we are?”
But the thought whizzes right on by me like the passing car.
People walking , people talking, but what do they say?
Then I realize to myself that I don’t care anyway
I don’t have the time, the will, or attention to pay
Maybe it will all slow down, or go away someday
I watch the world like I watch TV
I ask the preacher man, “can you see?”
I ask the lawyer man, “can you say?”
I get no answer, but I ask anyway.
The people all say to me, “there is no love without trust
and anything you think is love is just really lust.”
I say that to trust your love is a bust
To be able to lie your way out of trouble is a must.
I watch my friends like I watch my cancer
I ask a doctor, I get no answer
I ask the shrink who says, “no way”
I get no answer but I ask anyway.
I don’t think we ought to be out this late
people will start assuming it’s a date.
The tables all around us are full of young people;
grand plans, they hold hands on their way to the steeple
But I, I will never know
what it’s like when two become one.
By choice, or by necessity,
If you try to get to close then I will run.
I don’t even pretend to care anymore.
I won’t pretend you’re naught but a whore.
You cast your emotions like a baited line at sea,
waiting for men to bite.
That’s not how love should be!
You assume we all should have a match
that we should be looking for,
but what if only some do, and for the rest you are wrong?
Would you then classify those who abstain as weak, not strong?
It’s very simple.
Can’t you tell?
You’re the witch; don’t cast your spell.
‘Sex, the demon, is a pervasive fiend.
It conquers noble angels, makes them
filthy and unclean.’
“Come on! Be with me! It will feel alright!
Just wait and see!
Don’t you worry now! Just let it go!
Give it a try , and soon you’ll know!”
‘Stop! Let me warn you!
Only evil lies ahead!’
I see now, or at least, I think I do.
The harlot tries to fool you,
But the chaste friend is always true.
“Don’t be this way!
You think too much
of all this philosophical,
dense, odd stuff.
All of us are doing it,
and therefore, you should, too.
C’mon, just release,
maybe then you won’t be so blue”
‘Better to be sad and pure
than happy and disgraced;’
Love and trust in any girl
who would screw you is misplaced.
‘Not to others, but to self be ironclad;
always, always, the high standards must be had.’
What you see yourself as
is all you’ve really got
I couldn’t stand my self – if I did the deed
I’d rot.
‘Get out of here!’
Get out of here!
“I’m out of here.”
How can you be so beautiful
while I am still so ugly?
How can you be so happy
while I as still so sad?
How can you be successful
while I have failed again?
How can you be relaxed
while I still feel mad?
How can you be so graceful
while I am still so clumsy?
You’re everything I wanted
I am nothing at all.
You’re pretty, and so wonderful
I am just a creep
Your life has been a rise to the top
and mine has been a fall.
But still
I put myself through it
Just looking at your picture
makes me want to collapse
And still
I just keep pretending
That maybe, just perhaps
I stand a chance in freezing hell
to have you talk to me?
You’re so amazing every day
And I struggle to survive
You’re so precious to so many
I may as well be gone
You’re irreplaceable to so many
I can barely stay alive
But still
I put myself through it
Just looking at your picture
makes me want to be free
I have decided
I’d just be better off with me
Why do I do this to myself each time
Looking at what I can’t even see
Why do I think that I stand a chance
When it’s clear that they’re all better than me?
What am I thinking even standing around
all these people that I don’t belong near?
I guess I’m just vainly standing my ground
though it’s clear that I don’t belong here.
I should just slink out the door
Nobody would notice
I should just go to the store
Nobody would notice
I should just leave my home
Nobody would notice
I should just roam alone
Nobody would notice
What am I doing here with you?
It’s clear that you don’t want me here anymore.
I should just vacate the premises
Get the check, my hat, and walk out the door.
I should just disappear for a while
Nobody would notice.
I should just put on a fake smile
Nobody would notice
I ought to go and never come back
I bet nobody would notice
I tried to make a triumphant return
And nobody noticed.